An Itch to Scratch

Got an itch? Scratch an itch. That’s my philosophy.

It’s not really a philosophy. It’s just mostly an instant reaction, more often than not without much thought, so it can’t really be a philosophy because  philosophies require thought. No thinking to be done here.

That’s really the problem with an itch. No thinking.

Except those itches that occur in the mind. Then it’s all thinking. Then the scratching is all thinking. And scratching doesn’t usually take away the itching.

What the hell is the guy talking about, you’re asking.

So, it’s 3:30 in the morning and you suddenly wake up thinking about what you should have said, what you’d like to say, to your boss, your spouse, your child, your sibling, your teacher, your… whoever… and suddenly your mind is itching. You’re conducting a conversation, a lecture, writing a script, acting out a scene, putting on a show, facing your frustrations, your fears, your least favourite person or place or situation and… damn it, you can’t get back to sleep because your mind is itching. And no scratching is going to make it go away.

Those are the worst itches of all. Don’t you agree?

If you think I am about to share some great secret itching salve that will make this go away, you are wrong. I have no medication for this type of itch. I’m just itching and bitching and hoping that sharing this with you will make it easier to bear the next night when the itch returns.

However, there may just be a possibility to get out from under a recurring itch…

Tell the boss to go to hell and quit the job. Have the conversation in person with your spouse and get it off your mind. Kick your kid out of the house. Write your sibling a letter explaining why you think he/she’s a bitch. Not much you can do about your teacher except to tell her or him how wonderful you think they are and win them over.

You get the picture.

Take it out of your head and go on the attack. You can’t win the war let alone even a battle at night, in your bed, in your head. And don’t think I’m going to spend another night itching! I’m not made that way. I take the fight to them almost right away. There! I’ve said it! I am committed to do it! I feel better already!

The itch is gone!