Can We Change For Others?

There’s changing for someone else. There’s changing because of someone else. There’s even changing into someone else. (Although this last one is probably more true of “The Hulk” than of someone like me.)

I’m asking if we can really, truly change or do we merely chameleon?

I’m talking about change brought about by pressure from outside the individual. How about every parent who tries their hardest to change a child’s behaviour patterns for what they consider to be the “better”, (which most often really means what the parent believes is the “better” way). How about pressure from friends? How about pressure from lovers and spouses? How about pressure from co-workers?

Can alterations in our character or behaviour be true changes when they are generated from without, or does true change come from within?

Obviously when two people live together for any length of time, they must mold their characters and behaviours to some extent in order to manage their relationship. But is this true change or merely an adjustment in attitudes and actions that could be conceived of as change?

How do we define “change”? Does change have to be permanent in order to fit the definition, or can we cut the word some slack and accept it as malleable?

The philosophical questions surrounding this amazing action, “change”, have so many levels to consider that we must take a breath once in a while.

Having gone through many changes in my own life, I can only surmise that the changes I have made, small or big, were then, and continue to be, as a result of many factors. Some factors were brought about by circumstances over which I had no control. Other changes were imposed on me by people. Many changes I made were self-initiated because I needed to change what I didn’t like in my life, or what I considered to be a threat to my well-being.

And I have come to realize that the only real CONSTANT in the universe is CHANGE.

As a trainer, coach and mentor, I affect the lives and livelihoods of a great many people in my company. I affect change. So, what I now realize is this…

It’s not that others can change FOR me.

It’s that others can change BECAUSE OF me.

And that, my dear friends, if the change is for the positive, is in my opinion, the most satisfying affect I can have on my fellow man. And then in my little world, CHANGE is a good thing for others.

Sam Green B.A. Broker of Record/Owner